2020-09-16
by
Eleanor Goldfield
I'm missing who I thought I'd become
into a featureless sky, I'm carving clouds
in the age of anxiety,
how old is too young to rest?
The tail of a kite
a shrugging dune
a lost grip and a whip of wind
then a stillness that barely lifts your hair
I'm here -
I'm not sure I was there
But if all time is always,
some place, I got it right
if I can hold my regret –
who's shaping who?
Who leads in a dance with oneself?
Where's the beat?
I hear those echoes – on repeat
a melody memory dreams that we made -
a dive into skies
a depth we could fly -
- I lay me down -
coz I'm already on the ground
I imagine you better than you were -
the skipping of forgetting -
jagged scratches on vinyl -
the smooth sound of faded thoughts
I don't remember the truth -
but the lie is mine
and in real time -
the lines fill like sand in a high tide -
and home is the lightness of water in moonlight
fingertips on the surface – body below -
so much more than the tip of this iceberg I know
melting, but always whole -
a drip, a breath, a blink, a rip -
a rift, a sink, a lift, a sigh -
a silent synapse sizzles -
in the simmer of a sunrise
(this poem is on the EP No Solo , available here )